The Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter (by Tina Fey)
First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her. When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.
What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.
O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.
“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes
‘Food truck’ in LA is popular for its Pinoy dishes
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – A mobile food joint offering Filipino food has caught the fancy of casual diners and food critics.
Since food bloggers Marvin Gapultos and Nastassia Johnson started the business seven months ago, the Manila Machine never fails to draw crowds whenever it goes around the city.
The huge orange Manila Machine truck has become the first food truck specializing in Filipino food in LA attracting not only Filipinos, but American diners as well with its wide selection of Filipino food including sisig, silogs, pork belly and pineapple adobo, carabao wings, beef tapa, turon, and ube cupcakes, among others.
Renowned food critic Jonathan Gold even endorsed The Manila Machine to some big food events in the US while fashion designers Monique Lhuillier and Oliver Tolentino are among the high-profile diners to visit the food truck.
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka show off their newborn twins in People (January 10, 2011), just like any other A-list Hollywood couple would. This is too adorable for words.
When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.
- Milan Kundera (via mlq3)
Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.
- Mac MacGuff, Juno
I, Mega, take you, Z, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what yet I do not know, in all the ways that love may find us.
How many times has expectation screwed us over?
I have to get me one of these. :)